I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
