i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
