Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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