He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
