I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
