it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
