He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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