I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
