I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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