So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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