Its about making memories worth repressing
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
