can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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