Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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