i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dick very happy bro
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
