Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
