I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
