I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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