WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize