i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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