I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
