Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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