dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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