True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
