he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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