Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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