Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
