Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
