Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
