She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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