Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
