The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
