My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
