That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize