at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize