dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
