Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
