Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want a musical about memes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
