it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
