Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
