My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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