what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
