Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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