You're my little dorito
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
