Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
