I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
