Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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