How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
