I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize