Buhtt sex?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
