My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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