I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
