Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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