so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
