Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
