Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
