Pappa wants mamma naked
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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