i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
