I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
